Feast On Your Life

Job hunting and all it's paraphernalia, resumes, interviews, and generally hanging on the phone has been the order of the day this week.

Staying in the NOW and out of your head while job hunting is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, although I remind myself daily that 'this is not Days of Lives' thus hold the drama. There are still some strange internal conversations happening in my head right now. Am I good enough, will I be good at this, will it all work out, will the other kids play nice, what if I turn up to school naked....ahhhhhh!!! and the crazy goes on...and on.

Meditation has of course been my saving grace, last night I met with my bi-weekly power group 'The Circle' to discuss goals, dreams and the divine, the meditation at the end was the first one that set me right this week. After clearing our internal space we imagined streams of beautiful white light pouring through us and filling us with the grace of the heavens. Finally the tweedle dee and tweedle dum of my thoughts found themselves too occupied with bliss to be nattering about my short comings.

I am challenging myself at present to be present, that means embracing everything in the present, now, and accepting that everything that is, is exactly as it is meant to be. I am tired of trying to reach that 'dream' life chasing that elusive rainbow with the pot of gold underneath it. I have a dream life now, I want for nothing, I have a great house, a beautiful husband, great friends, a loving family, and the ability to pick and choose what I want to do next.

Essentially I am blessed and I want to start feeling the bliss of that blessing in every part of my life, not just when I meditate. I read a great poem this week which sums it up below.

Love after Love

The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott